John has been in a relationship with his ex-classmate, Jane, for about 4.5 years. They got together since Junior College and everyone around them thinks that they are very compatible. In fact, some of us even thought that they will most probably get married first, amongst us. How
ever, recently, their relationship strained and Jane initiated a break-up. Shocked and bewildered, John nonetheless agreed. 2 weeks later, Jane decided to call John to ask for reconciliation. However, this time around, John was confused. He did not know if he is ready to continue with the relationship even though he still loves her dearly.
He felt that the main reason for the initiate break-up is due to his immaturity and until he can eventually ‘grow up’, agreeing on the reconciliation might end up wasting Jane’s time. Before the breakup, he did mention to Jane that he is ready to discuss issues pertaining to setting up a family; however, Jane was not ready because she has just graduated and just started working. Furthermore, the conflict could have also arisen due to John’s fairly neutral attitude towards his future.
Perhaps bringing up the issue of setting up a family might be too sudden such that it might have resulted in the breakup? Perhaps it was the differences in expectation and wants that result in the conflict?
In my opinion, much of this issue lies behind the fact that there is a conflict of interest. Everyone has different wants and expectation and relationship is build on the basis of constant effective communication and efforts put in by both/all parties in order to reach a certain compromise eventually.
We had a good talk last night and have advised him to put himself in her shoes and not to hesitate too long. If he still a heart for her, why not give each other a chance and see if things work out the second time. If it doesn’t, at the very least, both parties have tried.
What do you guys think about conflicts that arise in a B-G relationship? Should it happen to any of your friends, what advice and suggestions would you give?
ever, recently, their relationship strained and Jane initiated a break-up. Shocked and bewildered, John nonetheless agreed. 2 weeks later, Jane decided to call John to ask for reconciliation. However, this time around, John was confused. He did not know if he is ready to continue with the relationship even though he still loves her dearly.He felt that the main reason for the initiate break-up is due to his immaturity and until he can eventually ‘grow up’, agreeing on the reconciliation might end up wasting Jane’s time. Before the breakup, he did mention to Jane that he is ready to discuss issues pertaining to setting up a family; however, Jane was not ready because she has just graduated and just started working. Furthermore, the conflict could have also arisen due to John’s fairly neutral attitude towards his future.
Perhaps bringing up the issue of setting up a family might be too sudden such that it might have resulted in the breakup? Perhaps it was the differences in expectation and wants that result in the conflict?
In my opinion, much of this issue lies behind the fact that there is a conflict of interest. Everyone has different wants and expectation and relationship is build on the basis of constant effective communication and efforts put in by both/all parties in order to reach a certain compromise eventually.
We had a good talk last night and have advised him to put himself in her shoes and not to hesitate too long. If he still a heart for her, why not give each other a chance and see if things work out the second time. If it doesn’t, at the very least, both parties have tried.
What do you guys think about conflicts that arise in a B-G relationship? Should it happen to any of your friends, what advice and suggestions would you give?
